What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
