They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Randomize
