Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
