I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
