dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
