she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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