And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
