Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
