i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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