if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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