batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
