Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
