wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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