Yo dont text me then not text me
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
