areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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