it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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