He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
