just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
