Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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