The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
