found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
