tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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