Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My vagina is officially offended.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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