my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
