so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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