pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
