Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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