i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
