ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
