I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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