I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
