You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
