Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
