I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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