Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
