Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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