Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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