Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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