you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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