So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
