He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Ladies don't puke and tell
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
