so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Drunk is a universal language darling
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
