you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
