she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize