I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just threw up on my dentist
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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