Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
