did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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