you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
