life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
