They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize