Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
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