I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
