Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize