The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
