im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
