whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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