So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
