i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
