This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He's on the porch naked. Help.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
