Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
