Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
