I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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