Pants 0. Shit 1.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
