He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
