Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
